driven by creativity
how are you? How are your last few weeks in Spain? It’s flown by so fast, and I’m not even there! My dog is currently placing his head on my keyboard all the time, I think he’d like to type something too.
I’ve been doing pretty well the last 2 weeks, feelin’ like I got my life back on track, sort of. And I’ve literally been overflowing with creativity. I have so many ideas in my head, it’s actually ridiculous. I’ve been writing most of ‘m down, and I hope to getting around and actually do something with them. And you know what, it really taught me something. Well not that I didn’t know before, but now it’s just become a little clearer: creativity is part of me. It’s how I function, why I function and it’s what gives me energy.
In school I always felt like I had some sort of defect, (that sounds dramatic, it’s not, but you know what I mean) because math wasn’t my thing. I wasn’t horrible, but I for sure wasn’t great at it either. And being part of a class with only very very very intelligent kids, it was easy to make you feel like you lacked certain skills, like for real. Cause there would always be a majority of people who were not only good at it, but great, like awesome at it. For me, math made me feel like I was slacking. If math was a person and it would have to choose who got to join on his team, I’d definitely be the last one chosen out of that class.
But this particular overflowing of creative feelings and inspiration points out that I have a different set of skills. If you walk in my room you see photos everywhere, little drawings and writings aren’t uncommon. And you don’t have to look very hard to spot a guitar and a pair of pointe shoes. My camera is also somewhere there and I have more than a fair share of notebooks lying around filled with ideas and thoughts, stories and poems. That’s what I like.
I’ve never been one for fixed answers, in my mind there are always multiple sides to a story. Creativity gives me that endless possibility that I crave so much. I like aesthetics and visuals, perfect wordplay, music and being able to look at things from several perspectives. I like it when it makes me feel something.
Math makes me feel dreadful. And since there definitely are people who enjoy math, it must be that our brains are wired differently. They’re creative in a different way than I am. When they’d happily make their math homework (and probably the workload of the next 3 weeks as well, let’s be real) I’d be filling my scrapbook with everything I could find. Making layouts, writing stories. Or I was working my butt off in dance class. No, most of the time I didn’t do my homework, my notebooks were never filled with the assignments they should’ve been filled with. But I was doing things that made ME feel adventurous and excited.
So maybe I didn’t hate math because I wasn’t the best at it. Maybe I hated it because it didn’t make me feel alive.
Math never did for me what photography, dance, film, singing, writing, design and music can do. And for others that might be different, and that’s totally fine too. I just wish my school had paid more attention to the things that make people who think like me, tick. I think it would make a difference in making kids feel like they’re good enough, no matter what their talent is. And that feeling of being good enough whatever you are, is worth a whole lot.
Lots of love,